When the value of my investment went below the minimum amount I had set for myself, I was unable to let go. I watched for almost a week as the value plummeted until I had lost almost $50. It may not seem like a lot of money to a lot of people, but for a student who is starting out in this world, I felt the loss. I wasted a lot of time begging the screen to show me an upward trend instead of taking action.
I have always prided myself in being aloof. Almost detached and unaffected by a lot of things that bother a lot of my peers. Yet, I attached a lot of value to an abstract asset. One that I had not held for a very long time.
A contradictory, disruptive, thought I keep having is that I have to get used to losing money in order to make it in the end. That I should have waited the momentary blip out. That I should have tolerated the discomfort of seeing my balance going down. How can I train myself to be a ruthless, within reason, risk-taker?
The “test your risk tolerance” quizzes show me that I am more conservative than I am risky. There is a reason that I do not read horoscopes. They shape me even if the rational side of me knows they are worded to apply to anyone. No offence to the believers. I regret taking those tests.
As an autodidact of stoicism, I have been trying to accept the things that I cannot control in order to achieve the greatest possible control over my emotions and thoughts in order to survive this world. I had no idea a test of my impulses would come too soon.